It gets even more difficult when you probe still further. Is loving your children or another individual for example, any different to loving a cherished pet? Do you really mean love if you are referring to a passion for a cause or hobby and why is it that so many of us get confused by the different variations often mistaken for love such as lust, sex and obsession?

Love can also be confusing regardless of whether you are by nature a positive or negative person. The law of attraction works just the same whatever your outlook, which is why even so called vibrant men and women are like everyone else and will attract useless partners who frequently tend to be abusive – and surprise, surprise – more often than not, are just like their own fathers or mothers. Some psychologists would suggest that this is because such parental figures are often associated strongly with love.

It’s a pattern for such women and to a lesser extent men that will likely continue until the cycle is broken. It means they will have to change that vision along with the type of person they are looking to attract, love and share their lives with when things get better – and they will – I know this from personal experience.

Positive thinking will help and it is a good first step, but it really does need a hefty boost of old fashioned common sense and plenty of action on your part, because love is so personal and the way you view it and embrace it within your life is totally unique. It is also very difficult if you live in fear for yourself and children but don’t give up because if you are reading this then you are aware that change is long overdue.

First you need a strategy and you need to write it down in some detail as to what you want to happen in your life and write down the steps that will be needed to achieve those objectives. As you will need help, ask for it to happen – you don’t have to spell out the details, the universe will sort that out and finally fast forward and imagine where you want your life to be in 12 months’ time and with whom – preferably someone totally unlike the previous model.

Now you have something else to focus on instead of the fears and other negative emotions that have plagued your life. You have a plan of action and now that you have written it down in as much detail as possible I would like you to destroy that message and have faith that the universe will take care of the rest.

Forget about this message and now start taking that common sense action that will lead to your new life. It may seem hard at first – breaking the habit of abuse always is but every step you take will remind the universe to deliver your objectives and the help you need will arrive – more often than not when you least expect it.

You can and will find love again when you are ready but as you are now in control of your life once again then you have that power to decide when. It’s called powerful positive thinking and it’s waiting for you to get started.