You choose the way you respond to failure, you decide whether it is a complete disaster at one end of the scale or a gentle correction on life’s journey. The choice is how you react when things go wrong – or to be more precise, it is the way you always react to failure – because there is every possibility that it has happened again and again in your life.

If you fail and then declare to the world that nothing ever goes right for you then you are doing nothing more than delivering your expectations. It did not matter how hard you worked, it did not matter how much money you invested, it did not matter whether you thought you had something special – the simple fact is that you never expected to succeed and as always the Universe simply delivered what you asked for. This applies to everything – money, love, relationships.

Subconsciously you convinced yourself that something would go wrong. You probably drew up a mental list of potential reasons – a bad debt, unscrupulous partner, lack of support from bank, an unfaithful partner – you made it so easy for the Universe to deliver failure that it was amazing you lasted this long.

If this is you, where did it all start to go wrong? Did it begin in childhood where parents and teachers said you were a loser or should set your aspirations a little lower or did life gradually take its toll? Perhaps you are just one of those people that lets the smallest thing convince you that defeat is just around the corner.

If you are a serial failure then I admire your bravery. You have started again in the hope that this time it will be really different but you will never really be able to succeed until you change your mind-set and start to learn from previous mistakes.

So where do we start? It begins by taking a long hard look at yourself. You have to establish why you keep driving yourself forward. What are you trying to prove? You clearly feel that you are not a success or could be doing a lot better in relationships or in business.

Perhaps you feel that everyone else is better than you, more successful, wealthier, have all the right friends, connections and people in their lives – and you have not. At this stage I need to point out what I mean by success. If it is more money you want or a better relationship then I would like to point you to other blogs on this website.

All these things are attainable but you need to get the product right first. The product by the way is you. Success starts with being comfortable and happy with yourself. To put it into perspective let’s look at a marketing analogy. You see advertised this great new food product which guarantees you will lose weight, is healthy and will turn you into the super person you have always wanted.

Off you go to the supermarket full of good intentions but when you get the product home you discover it tastes awful, the weight loss will take at least 10 years and you have to give up everything else you like. You never go back for a repeat purchase.

That’s you when you start something new. It looks great at the launch but when others see what’s on offer they turn away. They do this because as much as you have convinced yourself that this is really going to be something special you have not got the product right – underneath you are uncertain and people see that lack of confidence; because you don’t love yourself others quickly see through the veneer and walk away – you have the idea but not the confidence to make it succeed.

You cannot do anything in life until the product is right and the first step to avoid failure is to learn how to be positive. Start with the small things in your life and see them as successes – little victories quickly turn into bigger ones, once you get the hang of it.

Stop thinking about you all the time and think how you can help others. The law of attraction will respond by gradually bringing opportunity and success into your life. Stop being angry and bitter about previous things that have happened – you cannot change the past but you can learn from it.

Most of all – stop blaming others and look in the mirror. You have created your own reality and today you are where you wanted to be – consciously or sub consciously, you are the product and if it is ever to be ready for the market place then it is down to you to make the changes